Sauce: A chaotic theory, my precious.

Speaking of the Lord of the Rings. What would happen if you crossed the worlds of LOTR and Jurassic Park? My inner 8-year old is casting doom and destruction on my head for having such a blasphemous thought, but too bad for her.

Here’s what I think would happen: A lot of people would die, obviously, but it’s okay because most of them would be orcs anyway. Then at the end, the tyrannosaurus would eat Sméagol and the ring and everyone would be chasing him, waiting for him to poop it out, but before that could happen, velociraptors would lure him over the edge of the flaming abyss inside Mt. Doom, so the raptors would actually save the day! And then anyone who wasn’t already dead would die and velociraptors would take over Middle Earth, except for Gandalf and one hobbit of his choice and Shadowfax, because Shadowfax can run 80mph. They would make haste for the grey havens and live peacefully there. Until the raptors had the urge to migrate.

There. I think that’s fairly true to the spirit of both stories. Calm down, inner 8-year old. You’ll be fine in twenty years or so.

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