Cheese: A series on unrealistic expectations in the media, cont. (Bonus: A tale of fresh baked tragedy.).
This has nothing to do with today’s comic, but it has been such a pivotal point in my young life that I feel obligated to share it with you.
I’m sitting in a cafe, because, Weevils Instill Fear Incredibly. A.k.a. Wi-fi.
It is a small cafe. One little room. There are three other people here. A woman drinking coffee alone, and a man and his wife with their baby, catching a late brunch. I guess that makes four people but who has time for those kinds of details.
Anyway, the point is, I’m not inconspicuous.
There’s no rush, no crowd.
And yet...(here I had to pause to let the tears flow for a moment)...an employee came into the room five minutes ago with a tray of cinnamon rolls.
Orange glazed cinnamon rolls.
I could hear her (five feet away) offering them to the other people in the room. “Would you like a sample? Fresh baked, orange glazed cinnamon rolls...we’re trying to promote our bakery...yum yum!”
She offered cinnamon rolls to them all! She even offered one to the BABY.
And yet, She passed me by.
She left me, salivating alone by the side of the road, like the proverbial dying man in the story of the Good Samaritan.
I may or may not have discarded my last shred of dignity by groveling on the floor in her wake, clutching weakly at the tiles and muttering, “please....please....”
And then...but no. I’m sorry. The tears flood my eyes so I cannot see. Excuose anee typoz.
If you are so hard hearted that you could laugh at this point...here’s today’s promised comic.
I hope you enjoy it, you unfeeling smurf.
I’m sitting in a cafe, because, Weevils Instill Fear Incredibly. A.k.a. Wi-fi.
It is a small cafe. One little room. There are three other people here. A woman drinking coffee alone, and a man and his wife with their baby, catching a late brunch. I guess that makes four people but who has time for those kinds of details.
Anyway, the point is, I’m not inconspicuous.
There’s no rush, no crowd.
And yet...(here I had to pause to let the tears flow for a moment)...an employee came into the room five minutes ago with a tray of cinnamon rolls.
Orange glazed cinnamon rolls.
I could hear her (five feet away) offering them to the other people in the room. “Would you like a sample? Fresh baked, orange glazed cinnamon rolls...we’re trying to promote our bakery...yum yum!”
She offered cinnamon rolls to them all! She even offered one to the BABY.
And yet, She passed me by.
She left me, salivating alone by the side of the road, like the proverbial dying man in the story of the Good Samaritan.
I may or may not have discarded my last shred of dignity by groveling on the floor in her wake, clutching weakly at the tiles and muttering, “please....please....”
And then...but no. I’m sorry. The tears flood my eyes so I cannot see. Excuose anee typoz.
If you are so hard hearted that you could laugh at this point...here’s today’s promised comic.
I hope you enjoy it, you unfeeling smurf.
Yes, that is Listerine. |
SHE CAME BACK WITH ANOTHER SAMPLE. This time it was “Ultimate Chocolate Cake”. Guess what happened? To paraphrase everybody’s favorite “Incredibles” quote...
ReplyDelete“No cakes!”
Goodbye, world.