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Noodles: Valentine’s and Chocolatiers.

Happy Valentine’s Day, world!
This post is divided into several sections for your ease and enjoyment.  Please eat some chocolates while reading, because you know what?  Sometimes being cliche is a good thing.  (Hint - if you always eat chocolates while reading my blog, then no one can accuse you of being cliche on Valentine’s Day.  HA.  Beat that reasoning.).

Section A:  Three things to make you smile if you’re single today:

1.  The word “chocolatier”.  It’s a real word.  I’m not sure exactly what it means but it sounds just great.
2.  Pink and red sparkly things.  Made more enjoyable by your utter freedom from the pressure to purchase any of them.
3.  People who wish you “Happy Single’s Awareness Day!”  Listen.  You could be offended.  You could be tempted to pull a fake boyfriend (or girlfriend) from your pocket and brandish him (or her) menacingly.  You could even be tempted to buy a Valentine’s Day card and chocolates for yourself, telling the cashier it’s really for your special someone.  You could even take a pink Sharpie and write “I’m NOT SINGLE.  REALLY.  Really.  I’m...I’m NOT.  I swear.  Really.” on your forehead.  But please don’t.  Instead, just smile.  And wish it straight back to them.

Section B:  Three things to make you smile if you’re not single today (Why are you reading this if you’re not single?  You amaze me.  Thank you for your loyalty.  Now, go have a nice romantic evening and finish this post later.):

1.  You get chocolates.  If you don’t get chocolates, see Section A, no. 1.  And consider joining the ranks.
2.  You get pink and red sparkly things.  If you don’t get pink and red sparkly things, see Section A, no. 2.  And ditto.
3.  People who wish you “Happy Single’s Awareness Day” can be speedily and tidily dispatched by a single blow of your significant other’s muscular arm.

Either way, we all know the real reason this has become a holiday.  



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