Skip to main content

Sauce: At least Harold Hill isn’t here.

How come people can’t sit still and read without coughing, mumbling, scratching their scalps, and turning pages?
Okay so that last one makes sense, but...so loudly?
Yes, I’m at the library again, that haven of peace, solitude, quiet.  Let me make it clear:  I’m undyingly grateful to the library.  I may contribute nothing but the occasional late-fee, but it still feels more ethical to come here and write than to steal my neighbor’s WiFi (which I have never done except three times maybe four - it’s a really slow network) (is “network” the correct word?) (maybe I’ll Google it).
However, my unconditional esteem for the library does not by default extend to all of the library’s patrons.  They, without fail, possess squeaky walkers, squeaky children, squeaky shoes, squeaky chairs, squeaky computer mouses, and squeaky, far-carrying voices.
I assume there must be some relatively unobtrusive humans in this building, but, of course, I can’t hear or see them so it’s hard to get a head-count.


Comments

  1. oh my goodness...I had to read this three different days before it hit me that I should maybe know who Harold Hill is.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ya got trouble, my friend, right here, I say, trouble right here in River City!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Noodles: Just another downside of being a genius.

Since I’ve got a pretty long post in store for you a little later this week (and yeah, it’s Saturday, I know...so that means in about five minutes), I’m gonna make this quick and just share with you one of my finer moments.  Possibly the most brilliant highlight of my entire career as a human, if I may say so.   Recently I was trying to center a picture on what was supposed to be today’s post.  Suddenly, my cursor...is that what the little vertical blinky line is called?  If it is, wow, what an intense name for such an innocent little thingy.  Anyway, you all know what I mean.  We’ll just call it the cursor and hope for the best.  Kay.  So, my cursor started moving.  It was traveling across the page all alone!  It had a mind of its own!  Because I’m super suspicious, my first thought was that someone had hacked my computer, since I was in a pretty crowded public place.  There were some nerdy guys in the corner who looked cap...

Noodles: Cake.

I once read that humorists live small, pitiful lives.  Which is true, if you think about it.  It’s hard to joke about, say, sacrificing your life for the common good of your fellow humans.  Great people are rarely funny people.  Even when they have a sense of humor, what will they laugh about?   “Today?  Huh huh huh yuk yuk....Todaaay, I hugged TWENTY LEPERS and prayed soft prayers with them in the candlelight and three of them experienced miraculous healing!  IS THAT LIKE NOT THE MOST HYYYSTERICAL THING YOU HAVE EVER HEARDDD???  I mean, com’on!!!!!!”   On the extreme other end of the spectrum, you have, for example, me.  I will probably never pilot a spaceship to Mars and bring back a strange new mineral that cures all diseases.  But I will, with alarming regularity, experience trivial little setbacks in my journey up the vertical glacier of social acceptance.   Take today.   We had cake in the ...

Spinach: Zombie Sheep (part 1).

There are people in this world who don’t quite fit into society.               If people were puzzle pieces, they would be the unidentified extras, the empty gaps,                     the soggy chewed up pieces that fall off the table and get noshed on by the dog.    T hey live their lives feeling unnecessary, lost, destroyed.  In a world that celebrates conformity, if not uniformity, allowances are made for puzzle pieces to be different shapes, colors, and sizes. But if they don’t fit together, they’re either pounded on until they do, or thrown away.   Rejected.   Not because they’re of less worth than any other piece.  All puzzle pieces are simply shaped bits of cardboard, after all.  But because their purpose is not immediately visible.   Okay, that said, I’m not a fan of misfits, myself included.  They’re ...