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Sauce: Peeved - A Ditty.

Hello world, welcome to the dumbest thing I’ve ever written.  It helps if you sing it with gusto.  (Hint: UIKEYINPUTDOWNARROWgive “favorite” and “chocolate” three syllables.)
Dun dun dun...

...If you’d rather eat spaghetti 
With butter,
And if petting armadillos makes your bitty heart flutter,
If you wear twenty-three inch plugs 
And you snack on creepy bugs,
And you turn off the radio before 
Your very favorite song ends,
If you dance to rapping only 
And you never just be lonely,
Then I think we cannot ever quite be friends.
 
If you like to play the tuba
And get thrills at going scuba
Diving with a pack of grumbly-tumbly sharks,
If you stick Q-tips up your nose 
And knit socks for all your toes
And deface all the bathrooms in the parks,
If you get joy from picking peanuts 
Out from every tin of mixed nuts
And don’t laugh at jokes that center on Depends,
If you run away from cats
And feed chocolate to bats,
Then I don’t think we can ever quite be friends.  
(Why am I sharing this with the worldddd.....?????)

Comments

  1. The Lasagna July 7, 2019 at 2:44 PM

    So, there’s a little accident in this post. I’d call it a typo but I’m pretty sure it’s not my fault. If you can spot it I’ll make you a bumper sticker of whatever you want. For realsies.

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownJuly 9, 2019 at 9:37 PM

    UIKEYINPUTDOWNARROW

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Lasagna July 10, 2019 at 4:20 PM

    You win a bumper sticker! Who are you? If you know me, shoot me an email. Otherwise, use the cute little comment form at the bottom of this page and send me your address. I promise I won’t come kill you in your sleep.

    ReplyDelete

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