Sauce: A dangerous post.

You know those posts that stand in the middle of walking trails, to prevent motorized traffic? Your dog always goes around them on the wrong side.

They’re usually yellow, or orange, sometimes greenly unobtrusive. They’re easy to run into if you’re not paying attention. They’re something I’ve generally thought of as a mild annoyance, barely a hazard.

Until now.

Now I know they are equal in danger to a nuclear power plant, or perhaps crawling inside a microwave for a hot ten seconds.

How do I know this, you ask me? (No, I did not hit one while driving at high speeds on a pedestrian-only walkway.)

While on my road-trip, I encountered one (while walking...what kind of monster do you assume I am?) that was plastered over with official Warning stickers. There were two, and they read, simply:

Warning: Deformities

And

Warning: Cancer

I tiptoed from the scene, and since the stickers did not say exactly how the post would increase your risk of contracting either of those conditions, I have been waiting with trepidation, in case just walking by is enough to trigger something.

Maybe it’s only dangerous if you eat it.

Comments

Welcome to Weirdness!

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Sauce: Peeved - A Ditty.

Hello world, welcome to the dumbest thing I’ve ever written. It helps if you sing it with gusto. (Hint: UIKEYINPUTDOWNARROWgive “favorite” and “chocolate” three syllables.) Dun dun dun... ...If you’d rather eat spaghetti With butter, And if petting armadillos makes your bitty heart flutter, If you wear twenty-three inch plugs And you snack on creepy bugs, And you turn off the radio before Your very favorite song ends, If you dance to rapping only And you never just be lonely, Then I think we cannot ever quite be friends. If you like to play the tuba And get thrills at going scuba Diving with a pack of grumbly-tumbly sharks, If you stick Q-tips up your nose And knit socks for all your toes And deface all the bathrooms in the parks, If you get joy from picking peanuts Out from every tin of mixed nuts And don’t laugh at jokes that center on Depends, If you run away from cats And feed cho...

The Password’s Lasagna.

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