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Sauce: Those everyday moments of awkwardness...

Here are a few of my favorite.  

1.  The Intersection.  That moment when you’re walking down the sidewalk and someone is crossing the street perpendicular to you, and you arrive at the corner at the EXACT SAME TIME and one of you has to step to the side or slow down or you will bump into each other.  
The problem?  Do you say “hello” or just give an unnatural nod?

2.  The Eye-Contact-With-A-Stranger-While-Yawning.  That moment when you yawn a gaping, horrifying yawn while gazing blankly towards the horizon...and a stranger drives/walks/transports past and locks eyes with you. You freeze with your mouth at peak open-ness.  They are gone before you can alter your expression, so they are undoubtably left with the impression that you are a living corpse from an Indiana Jones film.  
The problem?  Why do all Indiana Jones films have so many a) skeletons, b) spider webs, and c) Nazis?

3.  The Talking-To-Yourself Before Realizing Someone-Is-Nearby.  That moment when you are walking along singing/chatting/hashing out your life, to yourself, and then look over and notice an old lady sitting on her porch watching you.  It might sound something like this:
You:  “I’ve been thinking about my life options, self...FANTASTIC!  I WILL DO THAT LATER!  Better not forget to write it down when I get home!  I wonder why I write everything down?  Am I going senile?  What was I just talking to myself about?  Should I get married or stay single forever?  DO I HAVE A CHOICE?  HI KITTY IN THE WINDOW!!!!!  HI OLD LADY!  I’m acting totally normal!”
The problem?  Is the old lady deaf or simply old?  

4.  People With Tiny Dogs Whose Heads Are Shaped Like Muffins.
The problem?  Yes.

5.  Middle-Aged Men Who Bike Shirtless While Wearing Tall White Socks.
The problem?  It’s not the socks.



  

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