Skip to main content

Spinach - Warning, this is like, the most inspiring post ever.

You know how you thought you’d never grow up?  Maybe not everyone nursed morbid thoughts of dying young from extinct diseases like I did, but come on.  Did you really think you’d be here, now, reading this stupid blog and drinking coffee or whatever, and feeling stiff because you like, stood up from your chair more quickly than normal one time last week?  Didn’t you honestly, secretly think that when you were an adult, you’d still be a kid at the same time?  Like, you would have all the same hopes and dreams, but you’d actually be able to carry them out?  That would be cool, wouldn’t it?  And terrifying.  We should all be thankful that the world doesn’t work that way, actually.  But maybe we should stop pretending we never were that kid, at the same time.  You may have changed in a lot of ways, but you weren’t once a child.  You are you, and you have been a child and you will be old and you just is.  You is you, human bean.  My advice to you today is to dig out some of your old favorite thoughts and dreams and ask yourself if they’re still relevant.  I bet they are.  

P.S. If that seems too much like homework, then please go read Roald Dahl’s book, “The BFG”.  That’ll give your inner child a kick in the pants.  Also then you will know why I call people “beans.”  And you can do it too.  Become part of the club.  Pick up a copy of “The BFG” today.  “The BFG” does not sponsor this blog post and I have received no compensation of any kind whatsoever from anyone for anything ever.  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Noodles: It’s autumn, all of you.

Hi world.  It’s me, your favorite super sheltered, extremely Scandinavian, strangely endearing pile of soggy, tomato-drenched crinkly noodles! Otherwise known as Baby Swedish Lasagna under an Inadequate Tent. The reason I bring up my origins is this: I grew up without hearing anyone say “y’all”.  I believe the contraction never crossed my path outside of a book until middle school, when it became trendy among my equally sheltered, pale-skinned friends. I started saying it often, with little understanding of its pronunciation, spelling, or proper usage. At some point, perhaps in a fit of cultural sensitivity, maybe after the madness of middle school had seeped out of my neurons, I stopped using it. Except in emails. Yes, my friends, I am an email y’aller.  It just works for the already-awkward group conversations.  There’s honestly no equivalent in northern dialect.  Check it out. “You guys.”  Offensive to feminists. “You girls.”  Offensive...
4 comments
Read more

Noodles: I’m not easily suede, butt...

My house is currently being shown by a realtor to an average of two potential buyers each day.  They come and they go, and, in real estate as well as trail etiquette, they take only photographs (as far as I can tell) and leave only footprints.   Technically. Not to abruptly change the subject, but have you ever sat on a suede* couch?  If you did, I bet you drew pictures on it with your finger, because the material shows light when you brush it one way, dark the other.  It’s a very impressionable fabric.  I have one of those couches.  It’s tan-ish, it’s comfy, and I like it very much.**  It’s in my living room, because it’s a couch and that’s where couches seem to prefer to live.  They like it dry and temperate with a little bit of soft lighting and a nice view of their territory, as well as easy access to the street in case they have a conflict with the armchair*** and need to make a quick getaway.   But I digress.   All you rea...
4 comments
Read more

Noodles: Cake.

I once read that humorists live small, pitiful lives.  Which is true, if you think about it.  It’s hard to joke about, say, sacrificing your life for the common good of your fellow humans.  Great people are rarely funny people.  Even when they have a sense of humor, what will they laugh about?   “Today?  Huh huh huh yuk yuk....Todaaay, I hugged TWENTY LEPERS and prayed soft prayers with them in the candlelight and three of them experienced miraculous healing!  IS THAT LIKE NOT THE MOST HYYYSTERICAL THING YOU HAVE EVER HEARDDD???  I mean, com’on!!!!!!”   On the extreme other end of the spectrum, you have, for example, me.  I will probably never pilot a spaceship to Mars and bring back a strange new mineral that cures all diseases.  But I will, with alarming regularity, experience trivial little setbacks in my journey up the vertical glacier of social acceptance.   Take today.   We had cake in the ...
2 comments
Read more