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Sauce: A political speech. Or, Why I’d be a great president.

Saucey sauce sauce!  Ha ha!
You knew you could always trust me for great content, didn’t you?  And as always, I never disappoint!
Sauce sauce sauce.  Yep, folks, I’ll be here all night!  Gimme a hand!
(Memo to self - I am so hilarious.  The people are going to love that incredibly witty opening.)
Okay.  That was fun.  But let’s stop fooling around and get down to the nitty-gritty reality of this thing we call life.  Life isn’t fair.  Life isn’t just.  People aren’t fair.  People aren’t just.  Sometimes they’re just stupid, but they’re never just just.  But sometimes a little hint of justice peaks out from behind the dark clouds of incompetent, anarchistic (Is that a word????  Memo to self - remove all memos to self before publishing!), man-made obnoxiousness we call the penal system.  I don’t know exactly what’s up with the penal system, by the way.  My mind gets hung up on the “pee” sound and I start snickering and my brain receptors shut down.  It’s people like me who makes the world such a great place, let me tell ya’.  We stand around in a blissful stupor, chewing our agrigarian cuds, chuckling over funny sounding words while innocent toddlers are led to the electric chair on false charges that aren’t true!  (Memo to self - “agrigarian” adds a very nice touch.  Whatdoesitmean.)
I have amazing hair today!  It’s made out of carrots or something and that’s why it’s yelloooowwww!
Did I just say that out loud?
What was I talking about?
Oh yes.  Justice!  Justice needs to happen more often!  People in authority need to be under the same justice as the commoners!  People in charge should be subject to justice just as much as people who work at Wal-Mart!  People like me deserve justice just like people like you, excepting a few exceptional exceptions.  I demand complete and total justice for everyone, all the time.  ALL the time.  Constantly!
(Memo to self - why is the crowd waving axes and shovels?)

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